Do you believe in Genies ?

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for! the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
“Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband.
"I'd do the same for you!" So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 30," she responded breathlessly.

"Really?! Thirty years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full…They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. ..They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar,

Effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,… 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - family,children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions.

Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

He continued, 'If you put the sand into the jar first,’ there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...
-- Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
-- Play With your children.
-- Take time to get medical checkups.
-- Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Operator Overloading

If you thought that you knew all the concepts of Operator Overloading, take a look at this picture. It redefines the concept of Operator Overloading. :)

How to catch a Lion

Newton 's Method:
Let, the lion catch you..
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Manirathnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... Ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method:
Take the lion to Australia or US.. And kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching!

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders

Al Pacino in 'Just another Sunday'

I don't know what to say,really,
3 minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives,
All comes down to today
Either, we heal, as a team, or we're gonna crumble
Inch by Inch,
Play by play
Till we're finished,
We're in hell right now,
Gentlemen, believe me
We can stay here,
Get the shit kicked out of us
or
We can fight our way back
into the light
We can climb outta hell one inch at a time
Now, i cant do it for you
I'm too old
I look around,
I see this young faces,and i think
I mean,I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make
I..I pissed away all my money,
Believe it or not
I chased off any one's who's ever loved me
And lately,I cant even stand the face I see in the mirror
You know, when you get old in life,things get taken from you
Well that's..that's part of life
But, you only learn that,when you start losing stuff
You find out, life's a game of inches
So is football
Because, in either game,life or football,
the margin for error is so small,

I mean, one half a step too late, or too early, and you don't quite make it,
One half second too slow, too fast, you don't quite catch it,
The inches we need are everywhere around us...
They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second....
On this team, we fight for that inch...
On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us,
To pieces for that inch...
We claw with our fingernails for that inch...
Because we know,when we head up all those inches,
That's gonna make the fucking difference, between winning and losing!

Between living and dying!!
I'll tell you this: in any fight,
Its the guy who's willing to die,who's gonna win that inch...
And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore
Its because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch...
Because, that's what living is!
The six inches in front of your face...!!

Now, i cant make you do it,
You gotta look at the guy next to you,
Look into his eyes! Now
I think you're gonna see a guy,
Who will go that inch with you...
You're gonna see a guy, who will sacrifice himself,
For this team, because he knows,
When it comes down to it,
You're gonna do the same for him...

That's a team, gentlemen...
and, either we heal,NOW, as a team, or we will die...as individuals...that's football, Guys...that's all it is...now, what are you gonna do?

The Man With Encouraging Thoughts

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Hamlets Third Soliloquy

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of disprized love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.”