How to catch a Lion

Newton 's Method:
Let, the lion catch you..
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Manirathnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... Ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method:
Take the lion to Australia or US.. And kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching!

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders

Al Pacino in 'Just another Sunday'

I don't know what to say,really,
3 minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives,
All comes down to today
Either, we heal, as a team, or we're gonna crumble
Inch by Inch,
Play by play
Till we're finished,
We're in hell right now,
Gentlemen, believe me
We can stay here,
Get the shit kicked out of us
or
We can fight our way back
into the light
We can climb outta hell one inch at a time
Now, i cant do it for you
I'm too old
I look around,
I see this young faces,and i think
I mean,I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make
I..I pissed away all my money,
Believe it or not
I chased off any one's who's ever loved me
And lately,I cant even stand the face I see in the mirror
You know, when you get old in life,things get taken from you
Well that's..that's part of life
But, you only learn that,when you start losing stuff
You find out, life's a game of inches
So is football
Because, in either game,life or football,
the margin for error is so small,

I mean, one half a step too late, or too early, and you don't quite make it,
One half second too slow, too fast, you don't quite catch it,
The inches we need are everywhere around us...
They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second....
On this team, we fight for that inch...
On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us,
To pieces for that inch...
We claw with our fingernails for that inch...
Because we know,when we head up all those inches,
That's gonna make the fucking difference, between winning and losing!

Between living and dying!!
I'll tell you this: in any fight,
Its the guy who's willing to die,who's gonna win that inch...
And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore
Its because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch...
Because, that's what living is!
The six inches in front of your face...!!

Now, i cant make you do it,
You gotta look at the guy next to you,
Look into his eyes! Now
I think you're gonna see a guy,
Who will go that inch with you...
You're gonna see a guy, who will sacrifice himself,
For this team, because he knows,
When it comes down to it,
You're gonna do the same for him...

That's a team, gentlemen...
and, either we heal,NOW, as a team, or we will die...as individuals...that's football, Guys...that's all it is...now, what are you gonna do?

The Man With Encouraging Thoughts

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Hamlets Third Soliloquy

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of disprized love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.”

Mast Shayari !!!

कोई दीवाना कहता है कोई पागल समझता है,
मगर धरती की बेचनी को बस बादल समझता है
में तुझसे दूर कैसा हूँ , तू मुझसे दूर कैसी है
ये तेरा दिल समझता है या मेरा दिल समझता है

की मोह्हबत एक एहसासों की पावन सी कहानी है
कभी कबीरा दीवाना था कभी मीरा दीवानी है
यहाँ सब लोग कहते हैं मेरी आखों में आंसू है
जो तू समझे तो मोटी है जो न समझे तो पानी है

समंदर पीर का अंदर है लेकिन रो नही सकता
ये आंसू प्यार का मोटी है इसको खो नही सकता
मेरी चाहता को दुल्हन तू बना लेना मगर सुन ले
जो मेरा हो नही पाया वो तेरा हो नही सकता

भवर कोई कुमुदनी पर मचल बैठा तो हंगामा
हमारे दिल में कोई खवाब पल बैठा तो हंगामा
आभी तक डूब कर सुनते थे सब किस्सा मोह्हबत का
में किस्से को हकीकत में बादल बैठा तो हंगामा

Wath the video on You Tube.

How to Become A Famous Blogger

I loved this piece of image and tried to become famous :)

TENSION

Ladki ne aapse lift mangi,
Raste mein uski tabiat kaharab ho gai.
Aapko TENSION !!

Aap hospital le gaye,
Doctor bola – aap baap banne wale ho
Aapko TENSION !!

Aap bole – Mai iska baap nahi !
Phir ladki se pucha
Ladki boli – yehi baap hai.
Aapko aur TENSION.

Phir police ayi
Aapka medical check up hua.
Report aayi.
Aap to kabhi baap hi nahi ban sakte.
Aapko aur TENSION !!

Aap ne khuda ka shukar ada kiya aur aap Khushi Khushi ghar gaye !
Aur phir socha Ki ghar pe jo bachchay hai
Wo kiske hai…????????
Aapko Phir TENSION !!!!!!