Corporate Word Meanings

"We will do it" means "You will do it"

"You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

"We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"

"Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"

"After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

"There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

"Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"

"We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline " means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

"We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"

"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you " means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

"You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

"We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"

"Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected ," means, "Well you know..."

"We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"

"That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

"All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

Banta's letter to Mr. Bill Gates

This is a very old joke or message or email but I like it every time I read it so just wanted to share with you folks. So here it goes:

Dear Bill ji, I had bought a computer for my home and I found some problems:

1. There is a button Start but there is no Stop button. I request you to check this.
2. One doubt whether any re-scooter is available in the system ? As I find only re-cycle and I own only a scooter.
3. My child learned Microsoft Word and now he wants to learn Microsoft Sentence so when will you provide this ?
4. There is Microsoft Office what about Microsoft Home ? since I use it at home only.
5. Now one personal question, Your name is Gates and you are selling Windows why ?

From,
Banta.

Most Expressive Love Quote

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

- Courtney Kuchta -

Do you believe in Genies ?

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for! the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
“Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband.
"I'd do the same for you!" So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 30," she responded breathlessly.

"Really?! Thirty years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full…They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. ..They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar,

Effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,… 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - family,children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions.

Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

He continued, 'If you put the sand into the jar first,’ there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...
-- Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
-- Play With your children.
-- Take time to get medical checkups.
-- Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Operator Overloading

If you thought that you knew all the concepts of Operator Overloading, take a look at this picture. It redefines the concept of Operator Overloading. :)

How to catch a Lion

Newton 's Method:
Let, the lion catch you..
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Manirathnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... Ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method:
Take the lion to Australia or US.. And kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching!

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders

Al Pacino in 'Just another Sunday'

I don't know what to say,really,
3 minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives,
All comes down to today
Either, we heal, as a team, or we're gonna crumble
Inch by Inch,
Play by play
Till we're finished,
We're in hell right now,
Gentlemen, believe me
We can stay here,
Get the shit kicked out of us
or
We can fight our way back
into the light
We can climb outta hell one inch at a time
Now, i cant do it for you
I'm too old
I look around,
I see this young faces,and i think
I mean,I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make
I..I pissed away all my money,
Believe it or not
I chased off any one's who's ever loved me
And lately,I cant even stand the face I see in the mirror
You know, when you get old in life,things get taken from you
Well that's..that's part of life
But, you only learn that,when you start losing stuff
You find out, life's a game of inches
So is football
Because, in either game,life or football,
the margin for error is so small,

I mean, one half a step too late, or too early, and you don't quite make it,
One half second too slow, too fast, you don't quite catch it,
The inches we need are everywhere around us...
They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second....
On this team, we fight for that inch...
On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us,
To pieces for that inch...
We claw with our fingernails for that inch...
Because we know,when we head up all those inches,
That's gonna make the fucking difference, between winning and losing!

Between living and dying!!
I'll tell you this: in any fight,
Its the guy who's willing to die,who's gonna win that inch...
And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore
Its because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch...
Because, that's what living is!
The six inches in front of your face...!!

Now, i cant make you do it,
You gotta look at the guy next to you,
Look into his eyes! Now
I think you're gonna see a guy,
Who will go that inch with you...
You're gonna see a guy, who will sacrifice himself,
For this team, because he knows,
When it comes down to it,
You're gonna do the same for him...

That's a team, gentlemen...
and, either we heal,NOW, as a team, or we will die...as individuals...that's football, Guys...that's all it is...now, what are you gonna do?

The Man With Encouraging Thoughts

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Hamlets Third Soliloquy

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of disprized love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.”

Mast Shayari !!!

कोई दीवाना कहता है कोई पागल समझता है,
मगर धरती की बेचनी को बस बादल समझता है
में तुझसे दूर कैसा हूँ , तू मुझसे दूर कैसी है
ये तेरा दिल समझता है या मेरा दिल समझता है

की मोह्हबत एक एहसासों की पावन सी कहानी है
कभी कबीरा दीवाना था कभी मीरा दीवानी है
यहाँ सब लोग कहते हैं मेरी आखों में आंसू है
जो तू समझे तो मोटी है जो न समझे तो पानी है

समंदर पीर का अंदर है लेकिन रो नही सकता
ये आंसू प्यार का मोटी है इसको खो नही सकता
मेरी चाहता को दुल्हन तू बना लेना मगर सुन ले
जो मेरा हो नही पाया वो तेरा हो नही सकता

भवर कोई कुमुदनी पर मचल बैठा तो हंगामा
हमारे दिल में कोई खवाब पल बैठा तो हंगामा
आभी तक डूब कर सुनते थे सब किस्सा मोह्हबत का
में किस्से को हकीकत में बादल बैठा तो हंगामा

Wath the video on You Tube.

How to Become A Famous Blogger

I loved this piece of image and tried to become famous :)

TENSION

Ladki ne aapse lift mangi,
Raste mein uski tabiat kaharab ho gai.
Aapko TENSION !!

Aap hospital le gaye,
Doctor bola – aap baap banne wale ho
Aapko TENSION !!

Aap bole – Mai iska baap nahi !
Phir ladki se pucha
Ladki boli – yehi baap hai.
Aapko aur TENSION.

Phir police ayi
Aapka medical check up hua.
Report aayi.
Aap to kabhi baap hi nahi ban sakte.
Aapko aur TENSION !!

Aap ne khuda ka shukar ada kiya aur aap Khushi Khushi ghar gaye !
Aur phir socha Ki ghar pe jo bachchay hai
Wo kiske hai…????????
Aapko Phir TENSION !!!!!!

Experience Pays

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.

He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The jaat sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.

While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Sukhwinder, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Sukhwinder threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said
..... .....
Guess What??
...... .....
"You think only you have a grandfather?"

How To Evaluate Your Performance

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and ask
him for a Phone Call. Shop-owner replied Sweety this is no a STD, but you can do one call. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts
your lawn now." replied boy.
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn. The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North-Palm beach, Florida."
Again the woman answered in the negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy and said," Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"

Support

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.

What do you think were the four words?
The husband just said "I Love You Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to keep the bottle away, this will not have happened. No point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. We miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other support. After all, shouldn't forgiving someone we love be the easiest thing in the world to do? Treasure what you have. Don't multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding on to forgiveness. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.

Take off all your envies, jealousies, unwillingness to forgive, selfishness, and fears and you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think..

16 Famous Sayings By Chanakya

1) "Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!!"

2)"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first."

3)"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."

4)"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you."

5)"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."

6)" Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."

7)"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."

8)"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."

9)"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."

10)"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."

11)"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."

12) "A man is great by deeds, not by birth."

13) "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness.."

14) "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."

15) "Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."

16) "Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."

Essay on "Cow" written in IAS Exam

This is the essay on "Cow" which was (supposedly) written by some student in the course of completing the "Indian Civil Services Examination" :-)

I bet you will enjoy this.

Sachi

PS : There are no typos in this essay. Everything is legal and as it was written in the exam.If you develop cramps reading this or find your English gone haywire after reading this, please dont blame me :-)

CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child.He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together.

Two are forward and two are afterwards. "His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.

What should I do to marry a rich guy?

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high.
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty Awesome reply: Dear Ms.. Pretty, I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year..

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me... signed,
CEO J.P.. Morgan :-)

Leave Applications

Read the following leave Applications. It's murder of English language. But Too Funny. Just Read It.

Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."

This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"As I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."


Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."


From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave.."


Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"


An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."


A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"


Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day.."


Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."


Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."


Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".


Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."


A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.