Corporate Word Meanings

"We will do it" means "You will do it"

"You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

"We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"

"Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"

"After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

"There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

"Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"

"We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline " means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

"We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"

"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you " means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

"You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

"We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"

"Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected ," means, "Well you know..."

"We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"

"That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

"All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

Banta's letter to Mr. Bill Gates

This is a very old joke or message or email but I like it every time I read it so just wanted to share with you folks. So here it goes:

Dear Bill ji, I had bought a computer for my home and I found some problems:

1. There is a button Start but there is no Stop button. I request you to check this.
2. One doubt whether any re-scooter is available in the system ? As I find only re-cycle and I own only a scooter.
3. My child learned Microsoft Word and now he wants to learn Microsoft Sentence so when will you provide this ?
4. There is Microsoft Office what about Microsoft Home ? since I use it at home only.
5. Now one personal question, Your name is Gates and you are selling Windows why ?

From,
Banta.

Most Expressive Love Quote

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

- Courtney Kuchta -

Do you believe in Genies ?

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for! the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
“Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband.
"I'd do the same for you!" So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 30," she responded breathlessly.

"Really?! Thirty years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full…They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. ..They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar,

Effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,… 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - family,children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions.

Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

He continued, 'If you put the sand into the jar first,’ there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...
-- Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
-- Play With your children.
-- Take time to get medical checkups.
-- Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Operator Overloading

If you thought that you knew all the concepts of Operator Overloading, take a look at this picture. It redefines the concept of Operator Overloading. :)